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Holidays? Dead Can Dance

No, I'm not on vacation!

Warning ticket high in acidity and bitterness ...

Being part of the last zone, banging eight weeks in a row, watch the "1st areas" come and spoil our meager capital Snow (Nyark-Nyark-Nyark) and have miles of pollutants in these valleys caps ...

Just kidding, eh, for tourists! If I talk about eight weeks between two is hard, I'm not saying that I have trouble getting up in the morning, I'm lazy.

I'm talking about children who are tired, I speaks of these students exhausted, restless, who do not take up. I say this charged atmosphere, that kind of atmosphere that you feel ready to go into a spin from one moment to another for a trifle unpredictable ... I mean those lifeless eyes and identified in teachers' lounge, I mean the tension is palpable on edge and alert at all times and without a moment's respite in a day's work. I speak of these battalions agitated hormones ready for all the jokes, all that could be normal schoolboy made a joke to a reduced adult supervision to the bone, exhausted and demotivated IN ADDITION years ...

I had planned two days ago to make a nice post about my job, with big pieces of optimism in it. But there ... not the courage. And then it would sound really faux.Et yet, damn I love my job. This one and not another. Even without recognition. Or social (that I do not care in general as a fig) Not from my peers "teachers of discipline" as they say. Because yes, what, he holds a CAPES documentation on a tray 4 or 5, with a success rate of 2%, with proven expertise in information science and communication, for being in everyday life under-treated and under-employed, something of a hybrid between the librarian (I love the librarians, I even spent their competition and I now regret not having insisted after the first failure, at least I would make a trade today clear, visible and known what it is ... end of the bracket) and the supervisor, it is not always easy. We must position themselves and reposition themselves continuously to just be able to exercise it.

Everyday I can not even have that detachment and sense of humor that saves lives, when colleagues ask me whether I buy books or if it gives me the Rector of the tracks, who question my legitimacy to fill the shelves of books for young readers who stick to programs, all subjects and all disciplines, not to anticipate a year before so that once the program effective, the Commission already offers books on which to work, which surprised the necessary knowledge in children's novels who hit just, like, opening the mind and without wasting scarce public funds or allocated to me, or disappoint the curiosity of teenage readers, at the same time trying to bring into play those who are afraid.
I do not even talk about this mess teaching skills of info'com ', that is to teach young people to identify and decipher the world, take action and be aware of the participants information society and develop learning skills such as cross criticism and the mastery of thought and nurtured distanced ...

a daily basis, this business comes down now to spend his time in justification, to elbow and beg for groups of students (other than for monitoring so elves study room luxury) with colleagues ; to try to implement these skills, know-how and concepts ...

Today all that bothers me ... tires me and disgusts me. From above when we "lay" a draft circular that redefines our business mission, which denies contempt for which we have been recruited, the basis on which we were engaged and on which our contract s relies indeed it will in future be difficult to position ourselves as true professionals with skills transferable. Just service providers. Serving whom? No student in any case ...

Anyway, the Educ'Nat 'Is not in the process of dissolving, turning into "Service (at ) public" that offers "products"? The "educational product" as the box of green beans extra fine? (Via self-teaching institutions through the famous DHG-overall workload-and near-term competitive institutions, their productivity , forgiveness, their profitability , oh, damn, their results in exams - and make no mistake, dear parents, it is to succeed faciiiiiiile artificially the greatest number of exams ...) to make way for his own commodification ( in this regard, the term the company has already joined: Objectives, Results, means of action, and soon value added .. .)

But now, the skills we develop are not yet commercial, accountants, they are not the docile citizens expected tomorrow. Outside the business world, no hello?

I still have almost 20 years to practice this profession yet. But I could still exercise the way I like, with the return of students who often spend the bitter pill and size of a lemon ( I am correct, I mean pill but that is another metaphor that I comes to mind). Could I still work without being the herald spite me a vision of society that I disapprove?

No, I'm not on vacation ... I'm on vacation ... vacancy in motivation. Not that I've lost faith ... I just can not accede to that they would stick me.


You, the troll that is inevitably there, not worth me suggest that if I'm not happy I just have to change professions. Thank you, if I change my business, I do not need your opinion bitter and sterile. I could if I wanted. But now, I do NOT want to change jobs :-) So let me Chouin SI I WANT to play and whistleblowers IF I WANT! This is not a corporation but to defend a certain vision of society ... Flee to elsewhere is not constructive. In any case it is not my way of being a citizen.

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Thanks. Thank you for all your comments are so heartwarming, thank you to those who commented here for the first time, thank you to those who follow me for years, or months ...

I spent a few days sounded completely ... and then energy and momentum of his two son's life is contagious. There is no point in dwelling the wound left by those who leave, it keeps moving forward.

I spent a significant part of my childhood in a country where

"Those who are dead are never gone: They're in
Shadow
And that comes on in the darkness which thickens .
The Dead are not under the Earth:
They are in the tree that trembles,
They are in the wood that groans,
They are in the water flowing,
They are sleeping in the Water ,
They are in the Case, they are in the Crowd:
the dead are not dead. "

There is no not cry its dead, they are passed from one world to another, from the world of the living to the ancestors who watch over us. They are celebrating the rhythm of songs, dances, colorful clothing and meals rich.
I'm deeply agnostic, this does not mean that I do not believe in anything, or that I am fiercely atheist. My education is the product of two cultures, and I think we carry our dead in our memories in our heart (which is the same ...) and this continues to make them exist, beyond Legends of ectoplasm. Similarly, I do not cling to the place where lie the bodies of the missing. it does not stop me not to speak in my head to those who can not hear my voice. Since concrete is in this part of my body that my memories of them reside. The brain. I know, "like that, it seems a bit schizophrenic.

A friend sent me the words of a Native American prayer

I'm not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow, I am
flickering snowflakes.
I am the light that passes through fields of wheat,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
I am the awakening of birds in the morning calm,
I am the star that shines at night.
Do not go to my grave and weep,
I'm not there, I do not sleep.

echoing the poem Birago cited above. This idea helps me cope with the absence of those parties. Although I am not persuaded to believe it completely. I doubt that I repressed when it suits me.
But basically, nothing is lost, nothing is created ... Everything is changing.