Edit Monday 05
thank you for your comments, sorry for the groin is still too heavy with guilt " and if I had been there, maybe .. ."
But we can not bear all the guilt of the world or be the guardian angel of those we love, I know something ...
I still had to do violence to let go a festival in the mountains among the pine Friday night. I give up. I trusted his luck. Because we can not protect everything all the time, one can only hope they learn from life, even if the lesson each time is terribly painful.
He buried his friend on Saturday, a beautiful ceremony, he said, half Christian half Buddhist. Since then he wants me to buy her book The Tibetan life and death ... I accede to his request.
is the end of the year.
it could have been a nice end of the school year.
it's not a nice end of the school year, and I can not rejoice.
For some it is the year of the tray. In high school near my house, the one common in the groin, is used to go camping up there up there, starting with paragliders, dominate the valley at his feet and see the lights flicker. Intoxicating. A sublime view, I agree. Who does not suffer from vertigo.
They went camping. They took the tents, which are mounted in the car with their license all costs, which funicular. This is the last day of the last event of the tray. Is blown. The endpoint of seven years of study secondary.
Elder wanted to go this year, enjoy this sweet night with his friends (he does not even bin). I said "I think, but I'm not very hot", concerns a mother can be too. And then finally he was tired, he decided not to go.
They were lying up there on the plateau overlooking the valley late at night, early morning ... There was one missing ... who was there then who did more summer. All of a sudden.
The police helicopter was found some hours later ... few meters below.
Elder lost a buddy, a pal of his ski trips, a boyfriend of the evenings, a friend of music, " bonpotamoi . Elder hardly express his feelings. Since then, he remains in constant contact with his band, those of high school ... for 5 days before high school, piling bouquets, students follow one another, until very late at night, by candlelight. We talk in whispers, it itches a gently rocking on the guitar. Peacefully. Almost in silence. This is the place to keep the memory, the point of union. They keep warm heart, and they exorcise. I left alone, and sleep off his grief with his tribe, collectively. And he comes home late at night, cool and wet cheeks.
For 5 days, my mother's heart aches for the huge (but equally useless) compassion and empathy I have for parents. For his younger brother who still had the courage to spend his patent today with my number 2 which is in its class, which is also his friend ... Number 2 is more outgoing than his brother, he drops his sentence, every day. Even if it does not relieve, even if everything it's so unfair and unacceptable. I would like to learn to let go Ainé his troubles too ... it would help, it would help us to help ...
The end of my school year does not end in jubilation, far away ... It is marred by grief and pain of others.
I think parents, and I want to relieve a bit of grief, but grief is not shared: it spreads. In concentric circles. And it remains equal, the center of the circle, the inner suburbs, just as intense even if it is lived by many. I thought
painful also be posted at school when the results of the pan in one week.
I retract a thousand stars and a thousand suns AM to his parents and his brother.
